My fiance and I are getting married in October at a venue in the Fort Worth Stockyards. We chose to have a childfree wedding. This decision was made 8 months ago when we sent save-the-dates that clearly said "We respectfully request an adults-only evening."
My sister has 4 kids: ages 2, 5, 8, and 11. She assumed the "adults only" did not apply to family. She RSVPed for 6.
I called her and gently explained that the event is adults only, no exceptions. I offered to help coordinate childcare for the evening. There are several well-rated babysitting services in the Fort Worth area and I said I would pay for it.
She lost it.
Her arguments:
- "Family is different. Your nieces and nephews should be at your wedding."
- "I cannot enjoy myself knowing my kids are with a stranger."
- "You are choosing an aesthetic over your own blood."
- "Mom agrees with me."
My arguments:
- The venue has a strict capacity limit. Every child added means an adult friend cannot come.
- The 2-year-old will need constant attention during the ceremony and reception. That is not relaxing for anyone.
- Several other guests have also been told it is childfree. Making an exception for one family is unfair.
- We are paying $47,000 for this wedding. We get to make the decisions.
She said if her kids are not welcome, she is not coming. I said I would be sad but I respect her decision.
That was 3 weeks ago. She has not spoken to me since. My mom is calling daily trying to mediate. My dad stays out of it. My fiance supports me 100%.
My mom said I am "choosing a party over my sister's feelings." I said I am choosing my wedding over my sister's entitlement.
Am I wrong?