June through September in DFW, ranked by awfulness:
June: "It's only 95, this is fine." (Narrator: It was not fine.)
July: The sun is trying to kill you personally. Your steering wheel is a weapon. Your seatbelt buckle is a branding iron. Walking to your car requires emotional preparation.
August: You have forgotten what cool air feels like. You have accepted that sweat is your permanent state. Your electric bill is $400 and you keep the thermostat at 78.
September: "Fall is coming!" No it's not. It's 97 degrees. Fall is a myth. There is only summer and slightly less summer.
DFW summer survival kit:
- Sunshade for your windshield (this is not optional)
- Steering wheel cover or towel
- Water bottle in the car at all times
- Remote start so your AC has a head start
- The acceptance that "it's a dry heat" is a LIE because DFW humidity is real
Things that are impossible June-September:
- Touching any metal surface outdoors
- Wearing a seatbelt without fabric armor
- Having a hairstyle that survives the walk from your car to a building
- Wanting to exist outside for more than 4 minutes
See you in November when it drops to a refreshing 75.
Whats your experience been?