Memes & Humor

NorthPark Mall: The final boss of DFW parking

NorthPark Mall parking structure was designed by someone who wanted to watch the world burn.

Stages of NorthPark parking:

  1. Optimism: "I'll just park in the garage, it'll be fine."

  2. Confusion: You've driven past the same H&M entrance 3 times. The floors all look identical. You're on P3 or maybe P5. The concept of floors has lost meaning.

  3. Desperation: You're following someone walking to their car like a nature documentary predator stalking prey. They get to their car. They sit down. They check their phone. They are not leaving. They are living in this parking spot now.

  4. Rage: Every spot is taken by someone who pulled in at an angle that takes up 1.5 spaces. The SUVs are getting bigger. The spots are not.

  5. Resignation: You park on the roof level where it's 107 degrees and your car will be a convection oven when you return. But at least you found a spot.

  6. Amnesia: You exit the mall. You have no idea where your car is. You press the key fob. Nothing. You are now walking the entire parking structure pressing the panic button. The honking leads you home.

NorthPark is a beautiful mall with world-class art. It is also a parking-based survival horror game.

DFW, what say you?

Community ReportAutomatedSource: Community ReportPublished: Mar 31, 2026, 10:28 PM

5 Comments

u/budget_dfw·

NorthPark during December is a war crime. I avoid it from November 15 to January 2. There is no parking. There is only chaos.

The rooftop in summer: your car seats become a George Foreman grill. You will be medium-rare by the time the AC kicks in.

Pro tip: take a photo of your parking spot number. I started doing this and my blood pressure dropped 15 points.

I have literally called mall security to help me find my car at NorthPark. There is no shame in this. I was on the wrong floor for 20 minutes.

The "following someone to their car" predator/prey dynamic at NorthPark is a shared DFW experience that bonds us as a people.