the politics of BJJ — instructor loyalty vs trying other gyms. why is this still a thing

gonna talk about the elephant in the room that every BJJ practitioner deals with at some point: gym politics.

the scenario: youve been at your gym for 2 years. you like your coach, you like your training partners. but theres another gym across town that has a better competition program, a different style you want to learn, or just a schedule that fits your life better.

should be simple right? you train where you want, when you want. except in BJJ theres this weird cultural expectation of loyalty to your instructor that borders on cult-like sometimes.

i know people who have been KICKED OUT of their gym for visiting another gym. not competing for another team. literally just visiting for an open mat. ive heard of instructors who wont promote students unless they pledge to never train anywhere else. ive seen friendships end over gym switches.

this is INSANE. in what other sport or hobby would this be acceptable? nobody cares if you try a different crossfit box or go to a different yoga studio.

the counterargument i hear is that your instructor invested time in you and youre being disloyal. and i get that theres a student-teacher relationship in martial arts that is deeper than most sports. but investment in a student should not equal ownership of a student.

the DFW scene is actually BETTER about this than a lot of places. most of the top gyms here are pretty chill about cross-training and open mats. but there are still a few old school places where the politics are real.

whats your experience been? anyone switched gyms in DFW and dealt with the awkwardness?